Wednesday, January 26, 2011

she buried her graph paper wishes in the cracks of the binding to consider later (in secret light).

very excited about this new humble arts publication, the collector's guide to new art photography vol. 2.

i just pre-ordered mine..get yours here.

when in limbo, grab some seeds+sequin skivvies+we'll get groovy.

i was just reminded of this the seeds song on this snowy (AGAIN) morning.
seemed a fun fittingly cheerful california tune to obscure this monotonous white.

(p.s. hot damn...where can i get some of those sparkly underthangs?! so hot-boss miss bets!)

Thursday, January 20, 2011

i will fortify our landscape of exhaustive (peaceful) meanderings anew.

led zeppelin.
el bosco.
gustav klimt.
henry darger.
robert indiana.
dennis hopper.
stephen shore.
mary ellen mark.
bill owens.
marlène dumas.
andy warhol.
tracy emin.
abelardo morrell.
the golden ratio.
john wesley.
uta barths.
lisa yuskavage.
native american babe.
fred tomaselli.
yoko ono.
welcome indians.
dreamcatching above my bed. by ADF.
google growth.
ever thankful. (stolen from paul smith)

my love is building a building... (XII)

by E. E. Cummings

my love is building a building
around you, a frail slippery
house, a strong fragile house
(beginning at the singular beginning

of your smile)a skilful uncouth
prison, a precise clumsy
prison(building thatandthis into Thus,
Around the reckless magic of your mouth)

my love is building a magic, a discrete
tower of magic and(as i guess)

when Farmer Death(whom fairies hate)shall

crumble the mouth-flower fleet
He'll not my tower,
laborious, casual

where the surrounded smile


Saturday, January 15, 2011

archives: from one moon mama to another, 16 years of faithful endeavoring.

full moon: 1996.
nicole. 1996.
+me on nicoles amazing old volvo. 1996
(in my old vintage levi's+first turquiose)
old thelma+louise shot.
in rachels impala.
my first fashion shoot with cedez.
(what got me hired at NYLON in 2001)
15..."it was fun!"
end of the year photo one report.
(+still not retiring.)
paris. 1994.
(the first foto i was proud of. )
first self portraits.
(guess i would've been a teen blogger after all)
hippie halloween.
just this little picture of one alexander wang (as j.Lo in a missoni onesie)
chelsea gayboy party: 2004.

i've been working on this graduate school application for awhile now. as part of the prep work, i've been looking back through+organizing the archives of the 16 years of my very documented life...
i've got LOADS more where this came from but i figured-given that i blasted this jam with words yesterday-i should probs put up some fotos to balance it out.

hope you like'em..

now back to writing/synthesizing.

Friday, January 14, 2011

positive values [of living] from buddha to biggie+all the dada blah de bla in between.

a (slightly modified) excerpt of my last email to my parents:


1/2 the 10 commandments/buddha/existentialism/greek myths/rock'n'roll=quotes to illustrate how i'm seeing now.

i love you and thank you for this life.



*every day in every way, we get better and better-dad/gramps.....

**you are my sunshine, my only sunshine-mom...

***i think i can, i think i can, i think i can-thomas the steam engine/dad......

****la de da la de da la de da-annie hall....

*****fly like an eagle-steve miller....

“‘Where are we going, man?’
‘I don’t know but we gotta go.’”
Jack Kerouac’s On the Road


(exactly half-no lord but mother nature for me, personally.)

5. 'Honor your father and your mother.'

6. 'You shall not murder.'

7. 'You shall not commit adultery.'

8.You shall not steal.'

9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.'

10. You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.


**treat others as you want others to treat you**

"Yo soy yo y mis circunstancias"

("I am myself and my circumstances").

Ortega y Gasset, 1914

"One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman."
Simone de Beauvoir (The Second Sex)

what I am trying to do is capture the soul or aura of the subject rather than the subject itself...

--rinko kawauchi

"Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures. "
-Henry Ward Beecher, Proverbs from Plymouth Pulpit, 1887

every wakeful step, every mindful act is the direct path to awakening.


Wherever you go, there you are.


I want to be famous for falling in love.

-cass mccombs

we were born before the wind.

-van Morrison

Mystery of mysteries, water and air are right there before us in the sea. Every time I view the sea, I feel a calming sense of security, as if visiting my ancestral home; I embark on a voyage of seeing.

-sugimoto (on seascapes)

"Some things I loved have vanished. A great many others have been given to me"
Simone de Beauvoir (The Woman Destroyed)

life is as fleeting as a rainbow, a flash of lightning, a star at dawn.

Knowing this, how can you quarrel?


we are not independent but interdependent.


"I am too intelligent, too demanding, and too resourceful for anyone to be able to take charge of me entirely. No one knows me or loves me completely. I have only myself "
Simone de Beauvoir

a strange thing happened: as men lifted their eyes from the ground and watched the smoke from their fires spiraling upward, their thoughts rose with it up to the heavens. They began to wonder and think, and were no longer earth-bound clods.

-prometheus bringing fire down to the mortals/greek myths

zeus put insatiable curiosity into pandora’s box.When she opened it-out swarmed a horde of miseries: greed, vanity, slander, envy and all the evils that until then had been unknown to mankind. Horrified by what she had done, Pandora clapped the lid on, just in time to keep hope from flying away too.

Eos, gentle dawn, was the mother of the four winds. While all creation slept, she rose from her pink pillows to announce the coming of a new day…all nature awoke, rejoicing to see her. ....But eos stayed rosy+young, always a joy to behold when she came out to wake her brother, the sun.

Selene, the moon, came out at night to light up the world while her brother helio slept……saw endymion and granted him eternal dream always of the moon in his arms.

Laughing nymphs and bleating satyrs danced to the music of pan, god of nature, master of them all.

Though we often live unconsciously, “on automatic pilot,” every one of us can learn to be awake. It just takes practice.


through our senses the world appears. Through our reactions we create delusions. Without reactions the world becomes clear.


it is not our preferences that cause problems but our attachment to them.


"I am incapable of conceiving infinity and yet I do not accept finity."
Simone de Beauvoir

if you do not care for each other, who will care for you?


"One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, and compassion"
Simone de Beauvoir

not getting what you desire and getting what you desire can both be disappointing.


that which is timeless is now.


the trouble is you think you have time.


whatever we cultivate in times of ease, we gather as strength in times of change.


learn to respond not to react.


"I wish that every human life might be pure transparent freedom."
Simone de Beauvoir

no matter how difficult the past, you can always begin again today.


we do not need more knowledge but more wisdom.

Wisdom comes from our own attention.


as you travel through life, offer good wishes to each being you meet.


just as driving on the right side of the road gives us the freesome to go anywhere, so accepting the natural law of constant chance is our route to freedom.


whatever path of action you find brings food and happiness to all, follow this way like the moon in the path of the stars.

In wisdom be a lamp, a light unto yourself.


Every life has a measure of sorrow. Sometimes it is this that awakens us.


At the bottom of things, most people want to be understood and appreciated.


Life lives on life. We all eat and are eaten. When we forget this we cry, when we remember this, we can nourish each other.


If you take care of each moment, you will take care of all time.


If you wish to know the divine, feel the wind on your face and the warm sun on your hand.




People often say that I have a child’s eye. For example, I stare at ants gathering around sugar, or when I seek shelter from the rain, I gaze upon snails. These are things which you often do when you are a child aren’t they? I have a very similar sensibility to that.

I prefer listening to the small voices in our world, those which whisper. I have a feeling I am always being saved by these whispers, my eyes naturally focus on small things.

-rinko kawauchi

"My life was hurrying, racing tragically toward its end. And yet at the same time it was dripping so slowly, so very slowly now, hour by hour, minute by minute. One always has to wait until the sugar melts, the memory dies, the wound scars over, the sun sets, the unhappiness lifts and fades away."
Simone de Beauvoir (The Woman Destroyed)

Do not seek perfection in a changing world. Instead perfect your love.


Simplicity brings more happiness than complexity.


whoever sees truth sees Buddha.


If you can’t find the truth right where you are, where else do you think you will find it?

----from alec soths old blog----


(after a photograph by Jeff Wall)
by Graham Foust

In what’s become this room
we are hostless
for the most part.

There is infinite glitter.
There is earth.

An open grave,
let’s say–not automatically
the not saying “raining”
in what is now this room.

We tune and we fade,
not undetermined upon bloom.

We shatter that way.
We don’t and then we do.

Retarded Artifact
by Graham Foust

Give me reasons not to be
oblivion, irony.

Like something in Wisconsin,
I am all the dirt I know.
Having come to in someone
else’s boredom, I’m alive—
and it’s an all-new boredom,
a boredom of cathedral
Empty as folk,
I just make up, make over
everything. Lately, I don’t
even want a piece of me.

I have a very strong collecting gene ...'

-martin parr

+i added these references for y'all who will get it all the way.**********

Now who would think that your best friend
Would be your worst enemy and your enemy your best friend.
Stare into the air inspiration from the atmosphere
I think of old ghosts, that ain't even here.

-family business/fugees

Going back to Cali, strictly for the weather
Women, and the weed -- sticky green
No seeds bitch please, Poppa ain't soft
Dead up in the Hood, ain't no love lost
Got me mixed up, you drunk them licks up
Mad cause I got my dick sucked
and my balls licked, forfeit, the game is mine
I'ma spell my name one more time, check it
Its the, N-O, T-O, R-I, O
U-S, you just, lay down, slow
Recognize a real Don when you see Juan/one
Sippin on booze in the House of Blues

I'm going going, back back, to Cali Cali

if I got to choose a coast I got to choose the East
I live out there, so don't go there
But that don't mean a nigga can't rest in the West
See some nice breasts in the West
Smoke some nice sess in the West, y'all niggaz is a mess...

--biggie smalls/NOTORIOUS: 1997

Spend my days with a woman unkind
Smoked my stuff and drank all my wine
Made up my mind, make a new start
Goin' to California with an achin' in my heart
Someone told me there's a girl out there
With love in her eyes and flowers in her hair

Took my chances on a big jet-plane
Never let 'em tell ya that they're aw-ooh-all the same
Hoh, the sea was red and the sky was grey
I wonder how tomorrow could ever follow today-hee
Mountains and the canyons start to tremble and shake
The children of the sun begin to awake
Watch out

It seems that the wrath of the gods got a punch on the nose
And it's startin' to flow, I think I might be sinkin'
Throw me a line, if I reach it in time
Meet you up there where the path runs straight and high

Find a queen without a king
They say she plays guitar and cries and sings, la-la-la-la
Ride a white mare in the footsteps of dawn
Tryin' to find a woman who's never, never, never been born
Standin' on a hill in the mountain of dreams
Tellin' myself it's not as hard, hard, hard as it seems


Led zeppelin

so there you go...

(if you managed to get this far:)

is, in a color-coded-virtual-nutshell, a bit of my philosophy as an artist+a (mostly) conscious individual..

RE: buddha+dada+bob dylan+simone de beauvoir+bob dylan+led zeppelin+jesus+kurt cobain+sugimoto+sartre+kerouac+parr+allen+baroness elsa+frank lloyd wright+kawauchi+janis joplin

Thursday, January 13, 2011

our hair was white, the grandma fur was wet+we laughed stumbling through the bitter taste of cold.

cedez+i had a wonderful tromp in the snow last night....i've rarely had the experience, if ever of walking on completely fresh, unmarred snow in nyc...
in conclusion, existential talks+snowday walks-tuesday was a true fact-delight.

in other news,
i've been listening to a lot of this cass mccombs song:
"i went to the hospital" which he sings, "i wanna be famous for falling in love."
to which i say, what a great romantic/artistic/narcissistic lyric.

might even say it's influencing this artist statement in a nice melancholy fashion..

(as it pretty well vibes with some existential leanings of mine: see simone de beauvoir-my new favorite existentialist. [p.s.why didn't we learn about her rad chica shit in philosophy!?!])

anyhoo, have a listen if you've never, or it's been awhile.

oh+mikes's highly anticipated circa 2010 mixes, ***smoke***+***mirrors***, showed up in the mail this week!!! (click on those links to see brandon's full break down+mike's best/worst albums of the year)
(with some very familiar fotos as album art:)

thus, i'm delighted to be able to introduce you (or remind you if you're cooler than me) about these two great jams i've got on repeat:

pepper rabbit "none shall sleep"
bear hands "what a drag"

+in case you're curious about what goes on in my head during the art making process, i thought i'd share some recently googled research topics:

pop art
on the road
woody allen
social anthropology